【Subconscious Mirror Game】
The theory of “shadow projection” in Jungian psychology states that people unconsciously project their unaccepted traits onto their partners. According to dating app data, 82% of users claim to be “cheerful”, but 63% of people who are actually matched still have the anxiety traits of their ex. This kind of repetition is not accidental – when you continue to be attracted to specific genres such as “cold scholars” and “literary prodigals”, you are essentially looking for the psychological puzzle of self-missing.

▶ Projection recognition experiments

Make a list of the core traits of the last three dates

Prefix each trait with a “+” (desire to have) or “-” (fear to have)

If the proportion of “+” is > 70%, it means that it is stuck in ideal self-projection; If the proportion of “-” is > 50%, it is a shadow compensation mechanism

Case in point: Lily, a financial analyst, was attracted to “freelancers” three times in a row, and tests showed that her subconscious encoded “instability” as “creativity” as a compensatory act against her over-control.

【Obsessive circulation of the nervous system】
The basal nucleus of the brain secretes β-endorphins for familiar patterns of emotion. When encountering subjects similar to past trauma, anterior cingulate cortex activity is increased by 37%, creating the illusion of “fatalism”. fMRI scans showed that the density of neural connections between the hippocampus and the amygdala was 2.1 times higher in patients with repeated selection of similar partners.

▶ Attraction remodeling training
(1) Psychological suggestion rewriting

Morning Mirror Declaration: “My value does not need to be mirrored by others” (repeat for 21 days to change the default neural network)

Silent recitation before the date: “The TA at this moment is an independent individual, not my psychological container”

(2) Object separation exercises

Composite the photo of your ex with the PS of an unfamiliar street (break the binding of memory scenes)

Use AI tools to generate “completely aesthetically unaesthetically pleasing virtual dates” for conversation training