Introduction: The Disappearing Suitor

According to the “Survey on China’s Youth Marriage and Love Behavior”, the proportion of men under the age of 25 who take the initiative to date has dropped by 41% compared with five years ago, and the group of “herbivorous men” has exceeded 23 million. When traditional courtship scripts fail, when the consensus on gender roles collapses, behind this silent resistance is the dying backlash of patriarchy.

The Data Fog: Multiple Motivations Behind Evasion
1.1 Collapse of economic computing power

Beijing Blind Date Market Requirements:

There is a house (average price 6.87 million)

Monthly salary ≥ 1.5 times that of women (32% of the average gap)

Evolution of countermeasures:

“Three noes” (no initiative, no refusal, no responsibility)

Turning to virtual dating reduces sunk costs

1.2 Cognitive dissonance of gender roles

The new generation of men is confused:

The line between “gentlemanly behavior” and “gender stereotypes” is blurred

Unsolicited solicitations are 27% more likely to be accused of “male gaze”

University of Tokyo Experiment:

After watching a video of the feminist manifesto, men were 58% less willing to pick up a conversation

Collective anxieties in the transition of power structures
2.1 Social punishment mechanisms have been strengthened

Consequences of a failed courtship:

Tried on social media (13% probability)

Reputational damage in the workplace (especially in the financial sector)

Risk Aversion Strategy:

Pursue only “safe objects” (65% success rate>)

Hire a professional matchmaker to express it on your behalf

2.2 Sex Script Failure Crisis

Failure of traditional routines:

Sending flowers → can trigger pollen allergy lawsuits

Paying → is suspected of reinforcing gender inequality

The phenomenon of “men on hunger strike” in Japan:

Evading courtship responsibilities through self-weakening

The average daily game time is > 6 hours as an alternative outlet

Breakthrough plan: reconstruction of post-patriarchal relations
3.1 Signaling system innovation

Development of two-color bracelets:

Green = Open Contact

Red = Do not bother

Set up an electronic screen for “pick-up permission” in public places (scan the code to get real-time wishes)

3.2 Character Reset Workshop

Emotional Expression Training:

Non-utilitarian praise exercises (3 times a day, for any audience)

Vulnerability Presentation Course (Learning to Tell the Story of Failure)

Conflict Response Simulation:

An elegant retreat route after rejection

Anti-PUA speech defense drill

Epilogue: Rebuilding the Tower of Babel on the ruins
When we swipe out the impulse in Tinder and write courtship code in the metaverse, perhaps the real revolution is not the rejection of pursuit, but the invention of a grammar of encounters that does not require conquest and being conquered – allowing two souls to fall naturally in equality.